with Insurgents in Iraq
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One of God's Helpers
During a college class a professor, professing that he was an atheist to the class that he was teaching told them that he was going to prove to them that there is no God.
He said, "God, if you are real, I want you to knock me off of this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God. I'm waiting!"
It got down to the last couple of minutes and a young veteran service member just released from being on active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, and hit him full force in the face, which sent him tumbling from his platform.
The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The veteran replied, "God was busy; so he sent me!"
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Try "Iraqi Explorer" below to surf the Net, instead of "Internet Explorer"
Click here to use Iraqi Explorer.
(Then read the instructions)
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Why Did the Chicken cross the Road in Baghdad?
Coalition Provisional Authority:
The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.
Halliburton:
We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.
Muqtada al-Sadr:
The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.
US Army Military Police:
We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.
Peshmerga:
The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.
US 1st Cavalry:
The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately detained and searched in accordance with current Standard Operating Procedures(SOPs). We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.
Al Jazeera TV:
The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.
Blackwater Security Company:
We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.
Translators:
Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.
U.S. Marine Corps:
The chicken is dead.
Navy:
The chicken upon crossing the road was painted and lashed to the curb.
Baghdad Bob(Journalist):
The chicken never crossed the road! He is safe in Baghdad, miles from the marauding vehicles of the infidel! THERE IS NO ROAD!
US Air Force:
"As you can see here in the target video, the bomb was locked onto the chicken...and there it goes...the chicken is still moving...still moving...and unfortunately passed out of the parameters of the guidance system so that the bomb completely missed it and hit the weasel instead. Gotta admit thought, it's impressive footage..."
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